Having role-playing sexual fantasies is a normal, healthy curiosity. Even better, when we share and play out our desires with our partner, we become closer and more intimate through trust, which leads to a more loving relationship. Role-playing is a fun and sexy way to spice up regular intimacy!

With that being said, most ask “How do we get started in the fun?” My expert advice would be to:

Start the communication process about desires you want to explore,

keep an open mind,

start slow,

and have fun!

Talk about your desires and preferences early on, especially about taking on the role of dominant or submissive in the play—basically, who’s getting tied up and who’s doing the tying. Then go shopping at the local sex store together to pick up a few toys or sexy outfits to fulfill the role-play fantasy.


To help your partner get into a submissive state and ready to take commands, grab some body paint and write “SLUT” across her breasts or his chest. Say, “You know you belong to me.”

Stand up straight, hands on your hips, and look them right in the eyes while you TELL him/her what you expect from them. Don’t hesitate. If your partner hesitates, tell them firmly, “Don’t make me repeat myself. If I do, the next demand will be much more intense.” By this time they will be getting the message and should be very excited. The number one character trait both sexes find irresistible is confidence.

If your partner is moving too fast forward TELL them “You’re being very ambitious, aren’t you? I’ll tell you when you’re done.” In addition, if they’re slowing down, call them out on it, saying “Don’t get lazy on me, bitch. You’re here to satisfy and please me.”

Planning Your Fantasy Evening

If you have busy lives (like most of us), you’ll need to plan your fantasy ahead of time. This is great on a couple of different levels. First, you’ll have time to add or delete elements to or from the fantasy, and second, all the eagerness for acting out the role play fantasy will build and keep you in a sexy, loving mood towards each other.

Here are a few sexy role playing fantasies that will heat things up—and fast!

  • The Mrs. needs a spanking for forgetting to text her Daddy which color panties she’s wearing that day (accidently-on-purpose).
  • Teacher disciplines the student after class for being naughty. (He just can’t keep his mind on math when the sexy teacher is sitting on her desk with that short skirt on.)
  • The powerful lady boss calls her male employee in her office after hours to tell him his additional private duties (for half his salary, he will now be her sex slave).
  • While having a drink at the restaurant bar, a lady sitting alone gets picked up by a handsome stranger. He makes her his sex slave for the evening. Before they leave, he kisses and fondles her at the bar while all the patrons restlessly watch.

Sandra LaMorgese Ph.D. is an expert in bridging the gap between sexuality and a lifestyle that focuses on holistic health of the mind, body and spirit.

Her professional specialties are life transformation, interpersonal communication, beauty, health, wellness, and sexual intimacy. She has worked as the Director of Education for Cures, a wellness skin and body care brand, and is a sexpert, metaphysician, holistic practitioner, and ordained Reverend.

What are your experiences in Role Playing? Feel free to comment below.