Do you secretly get turned on by the idea of being spanked? Ever consider turning things up a notch with your partner? Some people get weak in the knees at the thought of their underwear being taken down and a firm hand applied to their buttocks. Others love the look and feel of a paddle, whip, or flog. For a select few, bruises turn them on. The intensity, the stinging just after impact and the pounding sensation gets their heart racing. There are even those who enjoy being smacked and punchedAll of this falls under the BDSM category of impact play. Technically this is where a person is struck for sexual gratification. Generally, it’s understood that one is hit with an object such as a paddle, riding crop, cane or flog. But it actually includes striking with the hand as well. The blows usually occur repeatedly. It’s important to note that anyone interested in taking part in impact play should learn how to do so properly, have a safety word and practice partner care. This is particularly important for certain aspects of impact play. For instance, there is a subset of aficionados who prefer deep tissue bruising. But one has to be particularly careful and follow safety guidelines in order to take part in this correctly and safely. Still, for those whose temperature rises at the thought of such play, the experience can be exhilarating.

Here are a few tips for those couples interested in trying it out. Be sure that your partner is someone you trust implicitly before considering such play. If so, discuss the matter at length beforehand, knowing each other’s likes and dislikes. Set boundaries. Take things slow. Even if you believe you know how you feel about it, you won’t really know until you start exploring. For the top, make sure you slowly build the experience for your partner. Work up to higher impact, do not start out there. For both, listen carefully and be sure to communicate with your partner.  Work out a safety word beforehand. Some use the colors of a stoplight such as green for go, yellow for slow down or time out, and red for stop. Make sure each of you remembers the safety word. Understand that each person can use it whenever they feel it’s necessary. Sometimes we consider the safety word only for the bottom. Actually, the top can use it too. For instance, where bondage activities such as gagging are incorporated, use a safety signal. It could be pointing to the ground or dropping a small object.

Be sure to take part in a safe, private and comfortable environment. Have realistic expectations if you and your partner are new at this. Remember just as with anything else, practice makes perfect. For the top, why not try practicing on a couch cushion with a flog or whip before doing so on your partner. You do not want it to wrap around the person’s arm or leg. You merely strike with it. Understand that certain areas of the body can sustain light blows, where moderate ones should only take place where a lot of muscle and fat reside. This includes the buttocks, the thighs, on either side of the spine and on the lower area of the shoulders. Do some research. Read articles together online and watch an instructional video such as one over at Kink Academy. Then when you feel comfortable and confident, set aside some time to try it out. Exploring your sex life and unlocking your innermost fantasies will help ease tension, give you more confidence, improve communication between you and your partner and release healthy biochemicals into your system.  What is not to love?! So why not mix things up? If you are interested, talk to your partner about impact play. You never know, they might be into it too. Then you’ll be screaming “Thank you Sir may I have another” for a different reason.

Photographer: Craig White